I can never LOVE enough

These past few weeks have been a really big challenge for me. I've faced some of my most difficult parenting decisions. I felt very alone. I needed Camlon here. Now. Worry set in and dug deep roots. Fear clouded over even the sunniest of our California skies. My focus and time was spent trying to solve what seemed like impossible problems. I seemed to be constantly disappointed by my kids' behavior. They, too, felt there was no pleasing me. Our spirited child in particular showed a "spiritedness" that frankly angered me more than anything. I knew if Cam was home seeing this happening, he would be dumbfounded. I was becoming very weary of being the voice of both mommy and daddy! A certain magic happens when both parents are standing together in directing a child's behavior. The child tends to listen closer and yield sooner. Single parents out there have a rough road to walk when it comes to correcting the behavior of children at any age.

There were reasons for this firestorm of a week. I've been so busy on the phone arranging appointments and babysitting for various events. Eric and Ally desperately needed more of my attention that I just could not give. It is nearly impossible to balance running the house and spending that good quality time with the kids. Camlon is so great about making sure I don't care so much about the house. He wants me free to pour everything into the kids. We still try to keep a regular routine and the kids know their certain chores. However, when Cam is home, there is this window of time where I can disappear into the chores I need to do around the house while the kids tackle him and pillow fight! I don't have that time now and sometimes, it just feels like more balls are dropping then what I'm juggling.


Whenever these dark moments come, there inevitably seems to be a huge "A-ha" moment. Yes, I stole the phrase from good ol' Oprah. These moments seem to come without fail during the darkest times. This moment had to do with how I was disciplining the kids. Instead of having my eyes seeping with disappointment and frustration, I cuddled that naughty child tightly and loved them for a moment. After the anger of the child subsided (and my own), we would talk about whatever had happened. Lately, I've been dealing with a lot of physical fighting between the kids and toward me when I try to intervene. It is beyond anything I ever thought I'd see as a parent.

Anyway, these moments of extreme love and listening are just what we needed. It takes so much more time out of my day and my "to do" list to give them this time. I'm now realizing that "my time" is just what my kids need most! And, they need A LOT of it. Hopefully, they will grow up and say, "I don't know how my mom could have loved me any more than she did." My glare of absolute frustration is being covered now by an amazing God-given love and patience. I can definitely spend too much time disciplining, but I can never LOVE them too much. As Ed Hart used to say, "Focus on walking by the Spirit. You'll never hear someone say, 'oh, that person is just too loving. They are too patient and joyful, etc!" I still make sure to correct their behavior, but I do so with a strong hug and cuddle, with kisses and affection. I guess I could call it a "time-in."

My camera has been on the counter collecting dust. This journal has been silent. Yet, that is what needed to happen, of course. I don't think anyone would disagree with that!

We've been cuddling, hugging, loving and of course, baking!












Homemade "Cheez-it" type crackers.







I'm laughing b/c that last picture looks like she doesn't like them, but they are her favorite! :)



Everyone has a recipe like these. Oatmeal, chocolate chips, coconut all held together with some honey and peanut butter...One is enough! Like that magic hobbit bread from "Lord of the Rings."






We had blueberry muffins for a special breakfast on Friday!





I dated a guy in college from Cape Cod. He lived right on the elbow and spent his summers getting up before dawn to go clamming. One morning that I was visiting his family, he took me to Larry's, a local cafe, and I had their famous grilled blueberry muffins. You should try it sometime with some scrambled eggs! Unbeatable!

Of course, the muffins at Larry's were twice this size!



I made a new Chicken salad this week with wild rice and cashews. A recipe from Melanie's blog, of course!





I'm itching for a bit of fall to come. Although, our temps are still in the 80s every day, a few trees around town are starting to turn colors. Every fall, I make these muffins from the Mather family. They are a staple at Thanksgiving as well.





I made them recently using alternative flours and cutting the sugar a bit. They still turned out amazing!





I think they are more of a doughnut then a muffin or bread. They just melt in your mouth!

Make them soon!


Big news in our family this past week: Finn, Ally and Eric have two news cousins, twins! So excited for Shannon and Dave as they begin their parenting journey! Pray for the little ones as they were a tad early and do need a little extra love and care at the hospital! We can't wait to meet them! Oooh! My baby just kicked me as I typed that! :)

Melanie's Kitchen

For some crazy reason, I feel so much better if I don't eat wheat. I don't have celiac disease. But, over time and specifically during this pregnancy, I've come to the conclusion that if I don't eat wheat, I'm so much better off. I don't care to explain on this blog the symptoms that I face when I have wheat, but I will say that when I don't have it, all my symptoms disappear almost instantly and never return. Unless, I have wheat again. I've been "testing" myself numerous times, mostly b/c I have a pantry full of free pasta from couponing and I just didn't have the time to properly prepare and menu plan for wheat-free meals.

I mentioned this to my current mid-wife and she said that she has seen allergies begin during pregnancy. My symptoms became very evident during this pregnancy, but I've had symptoms for a LONG time. Ask my high school cross country coach! Before every meet, I'd be curled up in a ball with stomach cramps! It is amazing to find now, after 30 years(!), how much better I could have been feeling.

Also, our youngest son, Eric, had strange symptoms at 7 months old. He got a viral stomach bug and quickly passed that on to each member of the family. This included my mom as we were staying in Iowa at the time and she celebrated her first days of retirement hugging the toilet. I guess a mother's sacrifice is truly never finished!!! But, after all of us recovered, Eric continued to have 8 or so messy diapers a day, including 3 at night that would wake him up in a fuss. This stayed consistent for 2 months. I would not have waited so long to have him seen by a doctor except for the fact that we were moving at the time from Iowa to Rhode Island. His strange digestion happened to coincide with the introduction of cheerios. The first doctor I went to see in RI told me to stop nursing the baby. *****hmmmmmmm***** Well, I didn't do that. But, instead I thought of wheat. I knew at that time that I had a sensitivity to it. My older two children were dealing with skin rashes.....Why not take away the kiddie puffs and cheerios and see how he does. Of course, you know where I'm going here. He was INSTANTLY better and sleeping through the night again with clean diapers!

Now, I didn't keep up the wheat-free diet. I was discouraged. I make a mean chocolate chip cookie. I make cinnamon rolls (from Pioneer woman) that literally melt in your mouth....I love using that artisan bread dough that lasts two weeks in your fridge. Before dinner, you just pull off and hunk and throw it in the oven for some tasty homemade bread every night! OH!!! And my pan pizza recipe from America's test kitchen. You know that you have a good recipe when a whole group of women, watching what they eat, end up devouring it all. My go-to recipes were all off limits. AND, the "gluten-free" cookbooks that I bought over the past few years (2 of them) were absolutely terrible. Every recipe I tried was gross! One chocolate chip cookie recipe was so bad and I tried repeatedly to make it work, thinking it was my mixing error. No. They were horrible. Also, the gluten-free baking mixes you can buy at the store are all made out of mostly chickpea flour. I can't do it. The batter tastes gross, the end product tastes gross...... The smell of that flour is very off-putting, especially in this prego state!


But, lately, with MY current state and the fact that Eric has symptoms returning, I just decided I needed to go all out and convert the whole family onto this experiment during Daddy's deployment. I have to figure out GOOD alternatives and GOOD menus that are cheap and super tasty to kids. AND, I need to find good baking alternatives early so my kids aren't in massive withdrawl!! This is an experiment. I know it works for me. But, I'm specifically watching Eric during this time. If his symptoms improve greatly, we will look into an official testing process through our doctor. Because celiac disease is not an allergy to gluten, it is an autoimmune disease. We would need to sort what specifically he might have. His diet would need to be much more regulated if he has CD.


This is where my amazing friend, Melanie, comes into the picture as I've titled this post, Melanie's Kitchen.

She is the wife of Pastor Robert Krumrey, and they came to Massachusetts to plant a church during my years in college in that beautiful state (I miss it there!). I attended their church my last 2 years of school. During those years, one of their children was very sick and she struggled to find the answers. I don't think the answer was found until much later, but thankfully, she discovered that herself and her children did in fact test positive for Celiac disease. This was such a blessing to finally discover, yet I know Melanie's amazing cooking from before this discovery and wonder how long she was experimenting in that kitchen to perfect good, healthy, gluten-free recipes for her family. She needs to be much more particular than me at this point because they cannot have gluten which is different from just wheat. Gluten is in practically every product down the grocery isle. Even soy sauce and regular oats. (We also are doing GF oats b/c regular oats are processed with wheat).

Her blog that I linked to above is full of many wonderful things from verses that are a blessing, funny conversations she's had during the day, homeschooling fun (we are doing the same curriculum), family milestones and, of course, gluten-free recipes!!



These past few weeks, I was feeling helpless and honestly, totally uninspired, in the kitchen....I took a piece of paper and a pen. I sat down in front of Melanie's blog, clicked on the label on the side called Gluten-free recipes, and just started writing down recipes I could use for breakfast, lunches, dinners, snacks............after awhile of scribbling away, I realized I had no more room on my page. And, I was only writing down recipes that I thought my kids would eat. I was writing them all down! And, I was very inspired. Her kids are growing up quickly, I can't believe they are teens and close to tweens! These recipes had to be amazing if her kids and family were devouring them!

I put her recipes to the test!

These peanut butter cookies were the first I made and they were amazing!






I'm thinking of framing this and hanging it in the kitchen! Melanie, you've made it possible for me to make this change!





We actually had a rainy day here last week. Our first rain in months!! So, we made Melanie's Hot Chocolate!





and these Chocolate chocolate chip muffins!! Heavenly!

I'm forever grateful for Melanie and her experiences that she's shared here. Her blog is so much more than recipes or gluten-free living. Every post is a blessing. Thank You!! Her recipes are actually not just these baking examples. Her family is part of a great CSA and they get so many vegetables and all through that. Her lunch, dinner and snack recipes are mostly extremely healthy for you! I'm trying these baking ones first b/c I didn't think it was possible to make a tasty gluten-free baked good. I was so wrong! :)

I'm sure there will be more to come on this front!
****************************


Camlon sent a present for Finn's birthday. It was the flag the ship flew for its initial journey across the Pacific ocean. A flag lasts about 30 to 45 days before it is tattered and nearly ripped to shreds at one end. Camlon got to send this one to Finn to remember Daddy. Finn loves it and we set it up as a canopy over his reading nook. For school, we needed to set up a special area for Finn to read and take a picture to show his class. Finn was excited to bring this to his class.






Ally still tucks in her animals all over the house on occasion. Today, she napped with them.





This bear is seriously relaxing!






Ally has always been fairly creative. If I have to clean or cook or otherwise be domestic, she loves to get out paper, crayons, glitter, stickers, anything. Today, it was clay!






I got out my camera and so did she!





Cheese! I love how these kid cameras have two viewfinders!!!



I just unloaded two grocery bags full of my stockpile of pasta and other such items to my good friend here. I'm in it for real this time!!! By the way, we made twice baked potatoes and blueberry muffins tonight. The recipes keep getting better. This wheat-free thing is a piece of cake! Well....."special cake!"

School's In - But so is Summertime

Apparently, summer in San Diego begins in September.



All "summer," we had temps in the 60s to 80s without a lick of rain. I grew up in Iowa, where the sticky humid days of summer meant that whether you stood in the sun or shade, there was NO relief from the heat.

The summers here get hot in the mid-day, but by evening, temps cool off quickly and an after dinner stroll becomes so inviting!!





We made pine needle houses...and watched the golfers....






Red Light/Green Light





Fresh chives and my favorite tag-a-long, Eric!






September and October bring the temps up even higher, mid 90s and somedays the 100s.
Finn takes on his last day of summer with an all day battle event!











Look at these soldiers contemplating their next move!





We played Sorry, a birthday present for Finn from MomMom!












Oh! Someone got a haircut!





He looks so different that at all our regular stops: the gym, Sunday school, no one recognized him!






He seems to like it and he sat still for the whole time it took to cut his hair and Cam can tell you.....I'm THE SLOWEST hair cutter. Even with clippers!





We got in the school mode, making homemade uncrustables. I hear you can actually buy an "uncrustable" maker from Pampered Chef, but the Skippy lid worked great for me!







and a fork...






Yum!












Ally had her meet the teacher day. Although, this photo is showing the teacher's assistant. For Ally's preschool, they have 12 students and 2 teachers per class.





Here's Finn ready for his first day of first grade! This is quite a change from last year. As he told me today in the car, "Mom. I'm different now. I'm coming out of my shell." Is he ever! Finn has 27 students in his class with one teacher!





Well....that leaves just Eric and myself during a couple mornings a week. I'm so blessed to get that time with him now. Every day, I feel this new little one kicking harder and harder and I am reminded all the more to really enjoy our time together now. Eric is not going to like this new family addition at first! He could surprise me, but at least right now, when he wants his time with me, he makes it known to everyone by grabbing my leg, squeezing with all he's got, saying, "MY MOMMY!"



During our first morning just the two of us. We made some homemade frozen yogurt. I know America is known for selling its citizens an endless supply of kitchen "appliances" which one really does not need. However, this ice cream maker was the best appliance I ever purchased. The funny thing is I bought it while I was a college student. I'm not too sure why I had the killer urge to make my own ice cream then, but I'm so glad I did!





The finished product: Strawberry Frozen Yogurt!






























Look at that wink....I think he actually had something in his eye!! :)





The Recipe:


Mix together:
pint strawberries, chopped
1/4c. sugar
1T. lemon juice
lemon zest
splash of milk

Chill mixture in fridge for 10 minutes.
Add 1 cup plain, greek yogurt. Mix.

Put in your ice cream machine and just wait 20 minutes (Mine only took 15 for this recipe).

YUM!

Giveaway winners of the two Scramble menu planning subscriptions are:
1. Call me Laura
2. Liz Rondeau

Send your email info to me at: rookeclan@yahoo.com and I'll get you signed up for your weekly Scramble subscription! You will LOVE it! By the way, I went back to that first giveaway post and found new comments! Sorry to those who commented later. I did put you in the drawing but I hadn't responded to your wonderful opinions. Yes, many of you have strong opinions about Jamie Oliver and his Food Revolution. I'm still pretty happy about the organization, especially how it changed the British lunch system without changing the price too much. That is great step forward.

What is 1 Kuna Worth Anyhow?!

Every Tuesday at 10:30, you'll find me at my local gym. I carry in my yoga mat to the huge mirrored classroom. Andy Grammer is playing during our warm-up every time. I case out the new comers and wonder what they think during the easy, breezy warm-up.

"Why did I come to this class? What a waste of my time...... This isn't going to be a work-out."

then.......I wait for it. We dig right in to some extreme planking, crazy ab work and muscles I didn't even realize I had give out on me. :)

It's called Pilates and it is truly amazing! For years, I've just used this one DVD and done it at home. However, this class is 100% more challenging. The variety of exercises and the intensity is so far beyond my home workout.

The new people are amazed at the amount of balance and strength involved in doing pilates well. :) I love that I never really arrive at the perfect move. There is always room for improvement, yet each class definitely feels like an accomplishment in and of itself.



Last week at the park, Finn found this coin.





Turns out its Croatian and 1 kuna is worth about 20 cents.





Finn built a mini-KIDD this week. It sits in our bathroom (out of the reach of little Eric's destructive hands!) behind Cam's sink.




Finn put a little Stratego game piece on the ship as "Daddy" and he kisses it every night saying, "Love you, Daddy."





After naptime lately, Eric wakes up EXTREMELY grumpy. Once he gets his snack, he returns to normal. We've begun to have little tea parties in Ally's room to cheer him up more quickly!
































For the past 3 weeks now, we've started having "interesting" smoothies in the morning.





These smoothies are interesting because I still don't know how each one will turn out. I throw in a cup of some kind of green (kale or spinach). Then, I add any number of other items to make it tasty. So far, only one mixture was a total flop! I've been so surprised at how good these are AND that my kids will drink this green liquid.





Why am I doing this?

When Finn had surgery for his arm last month, there was a disturbing side effect. Apparently, the anesthesia really slows down the digestive track. Plus, the pain killers Finn was on afterward also continued to slow things down. NO movement was happening for a long time and Cam and I were nervous. We did not want to go back to the doctor for this problem. He had already been through enough. The hospital gave me pills for Finn to take every day once we were home to help with this and they did, but I didn't want him to always be taking them.


I started these smoothies one morning. The first one I made was:
1 cup Spinach
1/2 fresh pineapple
1 peach
1/2c. water
ice.

Finn LOVED it. So far, that combo is his favorite. and when I make one that is questionable to Ally and Finn, Eric will down it.




After only a few days, Finn was doing so much better. And, it has continued. We've had issues with Finn's digestion for a number of years, since he was potty training really. And, this past month, we've had no issues. So, I'm hoping this wonderful smoothie thing in the morning will continue to be a natural cure for our family and help us all have better digestion. Let me know if you do this too, or if you have tried it out. :) We don't have the best blender and I'm pretty sure ours will burn out here really soon. I'm looking into purchasing a Blendtec, but they run about $450. Yikes!



Enough of that talk! Although, once you have kids, this potty talk comes up in conversation way more often than I ever thought possible. I just called my brother last week and almost our whole conversation was about our kid's bowel movements! Awesome! Ok, Ok! Enough, for real.

Today, the kids and I finally made it to the pool! Finn got his cast off on Wednesday. They sawed it off and the nurse pulled out his pins just like that. Why that didn't hurt Finn, I have no idea. He didn't feel anything!

Apparently, the break was pretty bad, or the time it took us to get care was not the best. Either way, there appears to be "nerve bruising" in his left hand. This is how the doctor explained it to his colleagues. Finn didn't have much of a pulse in his wrist at the time of surgery because of the amount of swelling.

As I watched Finn swimming around today, I was so glad that he was carefree and getting in and out as best he could, but I also found myself tearing up, b/c it is so hard to see him handicapped. He will begin physical therapy soon to help rebuild his ability to use his thumb and index finger. The doctor was hopeful this ability would completely return. "Kids are amazing healers," he claims! Full range of movement in his elbow will take nine months to a year.

We are charting Finn's progress. Here is video #1: Finn trying to pick things up.




Love you, Finny! Keep up the hard work!

Honestly, I don't get paid to promote anything on this blog like other mommy bloggers out there. And, I'm not one to use a lot of products for my hair or skin. But, lately, these two items just make my day.
The first one is an oil that you run through your hair after a shower. You only use a tiny amount and work it through the ends. Magic. Detangles and smooths my craziness and it is easy for me on the go. I spend about 10 minutes in the bathroom if I'm lucky! This has been a nice treat for my hair. I have no idea where to purchase it. Probably the easiest way is online. I use it in Eric's hair and Ally's. Pain-free brushing after bath time and quite a time saver as well! Ally's hair used to take me forever to brush b/c it was such a tangled mess AND she hated me brushing it.

The other item is one that I hope EVERYONE will buy b/c I never want to see it out of stock or discontinued. This Abba mint conditioner is the only conditioner I've ever used that doesn't leave my hair heavy and disgusting. I can't describe its awesomeness fully. Just try it and you'll see. :)

You might be able to find Abba at a beauty supply place. At least, I hope so!! ABBA is the best! I like it so much I'm tempted to fill a whole shelf in our house with it....hoard it all.....just in case that moment comes, when it is discontinued.....

But, you wouldn't let that happen now, would you? *winks*


****Sigh****
I did not forget about my giveaway awhile ago, for the gift subscription to "The scramble." The best meal planning service around, put together by the coolest working mom I know, Aviva Goldfarb. (Go ahead, friend her on facebook! Hey, free recipes!) But, I thought I'd have two giveaways instead! One lucky commenter here will win a free subscription to The Scramble as well. I will announce both winners on the following post. Promise! Your odds are very, very good! Possibly 1 in 3. :) CORRECTION: You can find Aviva at The Six O'Clock Scramble page on facebook. LIKE that page and get all the good updates!! :)

Good luck! School begins this week! Can't wait to snap some back to school pictures, although, I'm hard pressed to find a pair of pants for Finn that are not ripped at the knees! Better get mending!