Today, I'm a single mom.

.....well, not really. But, it is me and the kids for a short bit while Cam enjoys a conference in the Midwest. I can not fathom being a single parent AND working a full time job. I just finished the little bit of work that I do and I'm looking forward to spending the next few days with just the kids.
Having fun with them.
Really being with them each moment.
Hearing Ally say a new word.
Reading Red Fish Blue Fish for the 40th time.
Listening to Finn retell the story of "Peanut Butter Pan."
Just Being home without worrying about anything job-related.
I feel so blessed to be able to do that. Not that we have all the money in the world. I'm sure many feel I should be working. Sometimes, I get that urge as well. But, that quickly passes.
I can't imagine missing these moments. Any of them!




This is Ally's favorite book right now. She's a little book hoarder! Tonight after bedtime, she apparently slipped out of bed and took at least 10 books off the bookshelf. She doesn't do this very quietly and my neighbor, who was watching the kids while I was at the rink, heard the books dropping to the floor. When she went in, Ally was in bed surrounded by her books, talking to herself and just having a merry old time. She practically sleeps on them and poor "Mr. Salty the Seagull," has permanent water damage from a certain drool incident. (Sorry MomMom!!). At least it was a book about water?!! Ha ha hee.....he.....

The next photo I'm posting for my mom. Because deep down, she really has the softest spot for babies and young Mamas! Will she admit it?!!! At least for this pregnancy, I actually have the pictures you've wanted! Enjoy!



See! To all those doubters out there: I'm looking pregnant!

Project Proverbs 31 Updated

To Days Off and Thank Yous

Yes ~ It's this time again!

A good night's sleep is what I got last night. Cam got up with the kids and I think I rolled out of bed around 8:00. It felt great! It's his time with the kids on Thursday mornings, but all I wanted to do this morning was see my little ones!!

Don't laugh, but I seriously begged to change Ally's diaper! I scooped her up in her little nightgown and trotted over to the changing table. New diaper ~ I even dressed her in a nice sweater and got her shoes on. She was ready for the day!!

She's very excited about this picture! Her first bowl of big kid cereal!


(These bowls are great by the way! They drink the milk, too!)

She wanted mommy's make-up on, so as I was rosy-ing-up my own face, I dusted some sparkle on her cheeks.

Cam was looking at Eric's Tribute page this morning which led me to a strangely emotional shower! 2 memories came to mind.
This one made me cry:
1. The man who got out of his beat up pick up truck and saluted as we drove by in the funeral procession last June in Kentucky. Many people were doing this, but this man sticks out in my mind b/c he was the first person I saw during our drive from the service to the burial site. I was so struck by his honor and respect. Seeing that man instantly made me cry and makes me sit down and take a moment every time I remember it!

This one made me wipe away my tears and laugh:
2. One conversation during LIFT: All 12 of us were sitting in the back of the Purdy dining hall (maybe we were working a meal for a group). Eric was sitting across from me. He looked oddly handsome as he inhaled his food and joked with the other dish crew. At that moment, I asked him a question that you normally can't get away with asking without the person thinking you are attracted to them. But, since Eric was a Marine and was being called up soon (this was right after 9/11), I could get away with it!
Me: "So......have you ever thought of getting married or having kids?"
Eric: {Complete flat face w/ no expression} "I hate civillian life."

There you have it! We also spent time during LIFT working with some kids in the community and his phrase was, "Little people make me nervous." I have this great picture (back in the day before the digital fun) of him standing near a table full of six-year-old girls, totally decked out in the marine look, no smile, eating the cream out of an oreo cookie! Another great memory.

Click here to Visit Eric's Tribute Page ~ People update it often.

Click Here to Learn More About LIFT


I'm going to be writing thank you notes today from the holidays! And play general catch up around the house. I'm also feeling a little creative in the kitchen now that my senses have returned. : ) I'll be posting a great, simple recipe for spaghetti and meatballs on Project Proverbs 31 soon!


I'm leaving you with a picture of my little home away from home. Today was mens' day out apparently, b/c I was surrounded by these tough guys with tattoos, flipping through Kayaking magazines and chatting to one another like they'd known each other since kindergarten. I tell ya, we chicks are not the only ones to chit chat like that!!

Conquering the Small Things

Finn's imagination is in full bloom. This morning after breakfast, he brought this basket filled with animals and said it was a boat. The story was of Jonah (the teddy bear) and the middle picture is my favorite: recreating the wind from the storm. How did I catch this on camera!



Ally was drinking from a cup today! She wants to do everything Finn's way - including wanting to use the potty. She hasn't figured that out yet, but she likes to strip naked and run on and off the potty constantly saying, "Pee. Pee" "Poo.Poo"



And lastly, it has been a long 9 month journey; but Finn is finally figuring out potty training. He still has his days, but him and the potty are becoming friends finally! Yeah Finn! Sorry for the blurry photos!


Love that these moments captured in pictures are really showing how much they are learning! And fast!

Project Proverbs 31 Updated

wonderful, horrible day....

Well, I just finished off yet another box of tissues! The doctor looked up my nose today and confirmed that I have a sinus infection! The proper medications were given to me (finally!!!) and I actually wanted to kiss the doc as he wrote out the prescription!! I've been trying to get something all weekend. Never get sick on a weekend! I tell ya! So hopefully, I'll be on the mend soon!

On to the wonderful things that happened today:
Besides the headache that has kept me from even wanting open my eyes, many wonderful things were happening around me. Finn actually understood the concept of "Mommy is sick, be nice to her." He treated me like a queen all day and helped with Ally, who was very far from catching the concept! She was needy all day long. He would distract her, play with her, parent her (I usually don't let him get away with this, but today, it was priceless!)

Sleep eluded me last night until 6am when I finally slumped over on the living room couch. Attempting to nap during the kids' naptime also wasn't happening. Throbbing pain can actually keep you up even when you are soo ridiculously tired apparently. So, I finally just sat in the living room and opened up a package that we received earlier in the week from our sister-in-law. Bless her heart. She sent a care package, complete with gifts for each member of the family, mine being a home nail care kit - with 4 really beautiful colors. The excitement bubbled over b/c I've been looking at my one pale pink nail polish in the cabinet, thinking I really needed a few more options! And, look! It arrived in the mail! Amazing! Not to mention the fact that this package, including a personal note, was sent by someone with a newborn! My mind would be soooooo cloudy and far removed from thinking of sending someone else a care package at that time ~ truly amazing love!

Another dear, dear friend, came by while I was at the doctor's and left some cookie dough for us to bake tonight. Which we did. And the cookies were my favorite, gingersnaps! I'm very thankful for everyone's generousity and thoughtfulness!

And, with the headache in full swing, I even had help from Cam getting the kids in bed tonight before he had to leave for the evening. We watched a Muppet Show episode from the early 80s with the kids. Very funny!

Feeling very blessed tonight. Also, very hopeful that my pain will ease soon!

I slept from 7:30 to 9:15 tonight, and before heading off to bed, I finished another scrapbook page for Finn. Thought you'd like to see it, too! It's now officially my bedtime. Getting sleep is going to be the most wonderful thing to happen today ~ and I'm pretty sure I'm going to be getting it tonight!

I can't believe it!

It's official. My little girl is fitting into 2T clothing! She looked at me today and said, "Mommy, clean me." Ahhhh, I just want her to stay little!! Yet, this next month is going to be filled with so many wonderful firsts for her that I get to be a part of!!! And it is all so magical and wonderful to see her grow!






Also, from a cookbook by Annibel So-and-So (sorry!), I got this great snack idea. A little time consuming, but worth it every time!



Oh, and thanks for the Snowman mug, Mom!!!

Project Proverbs 31 Updated

Project Proverbs 31

The bassinet arrived yesterday from our friends. Good thing we got it out of the way then, b/c she just had her baby boy today!!! Congrats to K & K! : )
I didn't think it would be so beautiful. When people mention passing things on that they got from a garage sale, you never quite know what is coming your way. But, I was blown away...





Chester was quite impressed with the bed as well! He was cute in there and I got a few photos ~ but then, really, he was given the boot! Ally's been putting her little doll in there with a blanket. I know she still has no clue that a baby is coming and I know it is going to be hard on her!

But, looking into this bassinet, it began to sink in that our family life is going to be changing very quickly for us. Today, I set out on a challenge. One, I hope, I won't be alone in undertaking.

Click this link to see the challenge.

Love how life brings us these kinds of moments.

~~~~getting closer~~~~

I remember our first kiss. Can you believe it ~ on our wedding day, 4 1/2 years ago.




I remember the mistakes I've made usually came in this equation:

Pleasure Before the Pain

However, when God speaks and I listen, the equation seems to be:

Pain Before the Pleasure

Why would we wait until the day of our wedding to even kiss!!??

I remember one rainy day outside on the porch as we looked out over the Lake. It was warm and breezy and Oh-such-a-first-kiss kinda moment!

I remember standing on the roof of Tibbitt's auditorium during a rumbling storm ~ as we crouched under the eve together to stay dry. Another great kiss-me-now kinda moment.

I remember how we would hold hands and how you would look at me with the most amazing gaze of admiration. Bring it home baby! Plant one right on me!

I remember the way you would hold me, right under the arms. It felt so secure.



I remember the evening you proposed (my 25th birthday). The icy driveway of our host's house we almost didn't conquer. The different courses of the meal you had prepared by various friends (all in on the surprise!). The music. The 3 roses I still have in our bedroom. The woodstove fire. Yes! I will marry you! And..........*smoooooooooch* But, no...... we didn't. We snuggled by the fire. You explained why you chose the ring you did. The ice storm raging outside begged us to get down the steep driveway of our host's house. We left the fire and moment right there. I said, "Yes," to being a Mrs.

~~~~~~~

Cam had led every step of our engagement. I felt so honored, adored, loved, respected by him. He led me into the room with his hand on my back. He pulled out my chair, opened doors, saved me from a bear (great-long story to be told later!), etc..... : )

What was the Pain before the Pleasure? Really. I knew the pleasure of a kiss and more. I felt eager and excited to be married every day. To see the day we would kiss. I remember the what ifs, "what if something happens before we get married? What if we never will be together? Why wait if I love him?"



Song of Solomon writes of the love of a woman being like a garden. It's cultivated over time. It's made beautiful. It's fruits become ripe. But, the poem warns of not awakening or stirring up love until it pleases.

How vague a concept is that. Yet, I do know when that love was awakened too early!! After the pleasure of being in love ~~ there was pain. Hurt. Broken trust.

Or, the waiting just becomes a rule. It weighs over you like some sort of legalism. You don't understand yet why it is that you should wait.

And, what are you waiting to do? Waiting until your wedding day to even KISS the person you'll be living with for the rest of your life? Crazy? And, it seemed like it would be quite a squashing of my personal expression of my affection for someone special! There is only so many ways you can hold hands, hug, high five.

But, that last sentence is a lie really. I don't think we ever exhausted the list of ways to hold hands/arms during the nine months we were engaged. Every time we even touched the tips of our fingers, there was a crazy amount of soul bonding going on. I almost had to hold my breath and look over my shoulder, as if we were doing something along the lines of indecent exposure!



The wedding day itself and the following days and years have been the model of: pain before the pleasure. The pain of waiting (which as you can detect from this post) really wasn't painful at all! The simple kiss in front of all our family/friends (and God!) was amazing. The way he scooped me up off the beach during our reception and swept me away from the party on a candlelit boat to a secret location. *swoon!!* The honeymoon and the 4 1/2 years since? Well.... our 85-year-old friends the Carter's always say, "The honeymoon never has to end!"



The pain before pleasure during our married years has been that of sacrifice. When work runs us ragged. The first crazy sleepless months after a new baby has come. When there are misunderstandings, miscommunications, embarrassments, bad moods, things being taken for granted. The sacrifice to keep on loving this person ~ to see them grow. Actually, to grow myself and see how this man is helping me grow. That hurts sometimes. When I'm wrong and it's pointed out!

How amazing is that. So...... this post is titled "getting closer" b/c the cliched holiday of Valentine's day is coming up. But, I know we all have experienced love in a way that chocolate, teddy bears and roses certainly pale in comparison to. I wonder how you may celebrate LOVE this year?? Not that a teddy bear, flowers or balloons is ever a bad gift to give. Chocolate especially is a wonderful thought! Just saying......

: )


This photo was taken from the house where he proposed. It's actually a rainbow created from moonlight. When will we see that again??!

Lingering Sickness

Well, this bug just won't go away. Sleep eluded me last night which never happens when I have a cold. However, we still got the kids out this morning and then, they've been helping me cook all afternoon! Bread, Stew and pots de creme for dessert! : ) The food processor really impressed them!



I've been feeling pretty busy lately with skating, taking care of the family and getting ready for the baby. I just took on my last private lesson slot and am now officially booked until the baby comes! Only 2 1/2 short months away and that precious little kicker-of-my-ribs will be in my arms. Our friends are going through the baby boom: a friend just delivering and another due this Monday. Lots of little play pals coming along for our next little one. Exciting!

Wish you all could be here to hear our choir of coughing. It's actually quite musical!

The old friends almost forgotten...

If anyone is traveling through Newark airport anytime soon, be sure to give us a call!! We've been known to travel down there to catch up with long lost friends, even for just a few minutes.

A golden friend from my long ago days in Japan met up with us last summer! It was a sweet reunion. One where you aren't exactly sure if you will even recognize each other! Business in New York brought her from London and the sacrifice to get there and see her even just for 45 minutes was so worth it! Since we had a 3 year old with us, we did all our chatting on the trams that run between terminals. Getting on the train. Getting off. On. Off. Up the escalator. Down. Repeat.

We tore through the small talk and managed to get in a little heart to heart time. I've never met anyone as bubbly and outgoing as Kirsten and her personality certainly has not changed. If anything, I'd say she's grown more sparkling if that is even an adjective!


You make me laugh!


You got to meet my love and my son! I'm sure we'll be meeting you and yours down the line!


We love you!! Always!

Let me take care of you....

I got to care for the little ones with big sniffles today. And we enjoyed every moment!




We even got a couple inches of snow!



We made milk shakes...



But the tears still came at bedtime. Tears of discomfort and restlessness.



So, another day is nearing its end. Cam's home and ready for an early lights out! Hopefully, tomorrow will bring much needed R&R.

It's a holding-down-the-fort kinda day.

Sick Days

More to come soon! Weekends are usually pretty busy around here and the kids and I have terrible colds! But we've turned our sick days around the house into action-packed fun (the marshmallow shooter was a fabulous Christmas present!) and extended time for snuggles and cuddles! Here's a look into one picture from the last few days.

The best sale ever!

Target has a mad sale on right now!! All this girlie stuff (fuffy skirts, dresses, sweaters, etc) for nothing. I don't think I paid over $4 on any one item! Fabulous!





And the girl is loving her girlie things!!



Mommy is finding her own girlie side a little! I brought these things home and was just giddy!! She picked out her first outfit; this sparkly, white ballerina skirt!

The fun has begun!!

**There is also a new post below this one**

Here it is!! A page from Finn's book. Is it too ambitious of me to try and tackle 2 baby books for the end of March?!! I go into the kid's room and look into that empty crib. Soon there will be another little one sleeping there. Will we have room for another? Everything and everyone in this world is screaming at us that we don't. But, for the first time ~ I'm feeling ready for this one. Not even just ready, I'm really excited - heart is bursting to meet this one!




Finn was born one month shy of our first wedding anniversary. Ally came right after a major job change and move for us. Life was just survivor mode with few life lines to really anchor us. We needed so much stability. We needed to establish ourselves as a couple. Even as a pastor and his wife ~ we needed to reconnect with God and grow our souls again!

Making these baby books is almost bringing back the baby days to Cam and I. Both to prepare us physically and mentally. AND, to revive us spiritually. To give us a love and respect for this life entrusted to us.

A love that is beyond the feel good love.

But, the you are only mine for a short time and then you fly away kinda love.
The up all night to soothe a fever kinda love.
The patience to nurture you and show you Jesus even when you are a screaming, crying, kicking child kinda love.
The miracle of life kinda love...

This is only what we bring to you, our little ones! Heaven only knows how your life will teach and inspire us and the world. Lord, give me the grace to love, love, love them. Truly, they are Yours and I will be blessed with the days we have been given.

Finding a quiet place is like...

Church is a wonderful place, full of amazing people. Truly, the body of Christ we have here has become a wonderful foundation for us in a place where we have no family even remotely close. But, when I slip away from God or when that flame seemingly goes completely out, I ask,

"What is the purpose of going to church every week anyway?"

The people seem more judgmental. The workload of taking on ministries becomes a burden. The sermons seem to repeat and bounce off my head instead of sinking into my heart. It's at times like these where I'm drawn toward solitude. Jonathan Edward's wife, Sarah, had 11 children and her house was the Inn of the town. To get a moment of solitude, she would sit down and throw her apron over her head. Everyone knew not to disturb her. She was alone with God.



Here's a devilish picture of my son! With small children, I understand that solo time like I used to have is just not the way I can meet with God now! I used to have one to 2 hours of silence each morning where I actually felt like I was meeting with God at the base of Mt. Moran. Taking in a passage of scripture and having that solitude truly felt like I was breathing in the crisp, refreshing mountain air. I could take in all that vastness. I could think and pray and daydream and rest my soul. My husband took this picture in May 2006.



Thursday mornings, I get to escape to an undisclosed location and have time alone. It is my time at Mt. Moran (although, I also get to enjoy a nice comfy leather seat and a hot caramel apple cider!). I'm starting to scratch the surface of my great God again. I can see how far away I've wondered. Aimlessly. I can see how my lack of faith led to a lack of hope. My circumstances swallowed me up and my emotions ran dark.
*Song*
Listen to the Chris Rice song on the playlist below. Only in these moments, with the apron over my head, do I appreciate Jesus' words that He is the living water. A fountain of life.

But, I began this post with the question, "Why go to church every Sunday?"

There is quite a sacredness about meeting with God here:


But, when one meets with God here, often...........the desire to fellowship with others who know this solace and to be encouraged by their trials and triumphs is very enjoyable. "Do not forsake the gathering of the brethren." And though my times may be rocky and going to church has felt not so inspiring, the others there have held me up in prayer and acceptance. And, they've told me how God is still One to take refuge in and whose steadfast love is the most precious thing to behold! In the battle of ministry opportunities versus time alone with Jesus, the first should never win or be reason not to meet personally with Christ daily. Thank you to those who have understood that and have given me the freedom to minister in the right spirit.

Meditations on psalm 36. Enjoy it for yourself.

Bouncercise at the toddler gym...

It's frigid outside, but we braved it and went to the open gym for toddlers. It was packed today.











Ally's first time solo on the balance beam:




Just for my mom ~ a picture of our home office space nestled in a corner of our kitchen. Never mind the tacky wallpaper and floor laminate! Right now, I'll take home improvements for $0 a month, Alex!! Which basically means - let's be tidy!




Lately, I've been dreaming that the Real Big Log Home Company dumps a project right in our yard and Cam would begin building our dream house just like our friends did 3 years ago. The mountain view. The birch forest surrounding the house. It's just spectacular!



But, our time will come. Whenever the nesting instinct kicks in (and it does on a daily basis!) I just remain truly thankful that we have the place we do and I choose an area of the house to tackle and organize! Today...... the toy heap in the living room.
Cam will be leaving for a few days soon for a conference and maybe it will be time for a secret project!! Not secret to the blog of course! Stay tuned....

What's for dinner?

Sorry the recipe is blurry, but I think it's legible. The kids inhaled this meal tonight. Every time I make this pasta sauce, the smell takes me back to the Glatz home. They were my neighbors growing up and our two families would get together for dinner each week. The cinnamon, brown sugar, basil combo creates this unbelievably delicious aroma that lingers in the house for a week! I can still see the pot bubbling on their stove as we walked in and I'd know right away it was going to be a good meal!!

Whenever I have ice cream, I've got to use this spoon. It's a misfit in our silverware drawer and I have always wondered to whom it really belongs. Maybe the mystery will be solved with this post. Or, I'll keep snooping in others' silverware drawers until I find the matching set! Will I return it? Or sneak another!

Using the word misfit made me think of the Rudolph Christmas special that I watched for the first time with Finn this year. He loved it. The misfit elf, tired of making toys, sits at the workshop in front of a bunch of toys, and daydreams about being a dentist. Finn will come up to me and just say, "Mommy, sometimes, I just want to be a dentist." Cute.

One day after he said this, I said, "Finn, do you know what a dentist does?"
He said, "It's someone who plays with TOYS!"
The toddler mind is a wonderful thing! Enjoying the simple things today.