humbled beyond........beyond......beyond anything

what do I do first when I find out someone is pregnant??? ~~~

recently, someone close to me became pregnant. Yes, I was excited and shared my excitement with her. But, pretty much I starting focusing right away on how awful pregnancy can be. And, in some ways I think that was good. Our fellow women who've been pregnant know that the changes going on in our bodies during the creation of a new life are so drastic and overwhelming! It can feel like such a lonely time ~ and it truly doesn't make sense that "morning sickness" or feeling like I'm going to throw up all day long for 4 months should be a normal symptom of this process. So, in many ways, it is good to share in these bad aspects of the process. Just because the territory is so unfamiliar to a new mom-to-be. And I remember feeling totally bewildered during my first pregnancy ~ and in many ways, my husband could not help or understand it. I just wanted to come along side her when it was rough. Let her know that I'd been there, too AND knew it was going to be a rough road.

However, in the past year, with the loss of our friends child at 16 months in July, and two other still births that I've read about recently through the blog world, I've been so humbled. Just last night, as Aunt Leslie sat in the living room chatting with my husband, I read some entries from Ebe's blog and was just wiping away the tears. I pulled this one entry (with link below) specifically to share today on my page.

Ebe's Blog

Today, I'm at 37 weeks pregnant with our 3rd baby, another son. This woman lost her son at 36 weeks and had to deliver a stillborn. To be honest, I just didn't think that happened as often as it does. And, it really doesn't happen that often, but just the thought that some couples are facing this kind of tragedy and loss right now....that it could also be us...... It truly had never crossed my mind. I've been able to sympathize and wrap my head around the possibility of miscarriage early on in pregnancies. Almost 1 in 5 pregnancies are miscarried. That's such a high percentage! But, to carry a baby almost to term, feel the kicking and movement and at the very end ~ to not even know really what happened to cause the death... It just doesn't sink into my brain.

I still will be so understanding in the pain and difficulty that a pregnancy can be, especially, to those pregnant for the first time. But, be sure I'm going to be really excited about the precious life that has begun! Through the difficult 9 months, there is much joy. This women, Ebe, and the story she shares ~ gives me a greater sympathy and understanding to all women of child-bearing age. Who knows the road they've walked. The wounds they carry. The ones that can not conceive. And, who knows what will come to all those pregnant for the first time.
To Ebe, even the off-the-cuff comment like, "I'm never going to lose this baby weight!" is one that could bring her down the road of thoughts like this, "But, you've got a baby." "You still have your baby."


Here are two photos from the births of our first two children.
Finn


Ally


It was such a wonderful time, though labor and delivery are obviously physically difficult to endure! But, here are our precious little ones. And last night, after Cam peeled me away from the computer screen with the call, "It's bedtime, my love," all I could do was curl up under the covers and feel the baby kicking like he always does right when I lay my head down on my pillow. He was active, lively. He even had a serious case of the hiccups. And, it brought me such joy and appreciation for what we may be holding in our arms soon! And, of course, I also wondered.......How could someone even prepare for a loss like this?