bedtime.

it's about that time again. bedtime. These past couple weeks, baby is not napping with the other two during the day (usually) and so that moment when all is quiet behind their bedroom doors around 8pm.........I do give a little sigh of ~ I made it through another day without:

a: a panic attack
b: losing my voice
c: getting my glasses broken
d: losing my hearing

and i also give a little sigh of accomplishment. ~ I made it through another day with:

a: my sanity
b: joy
c: even more love shared
d: the perpetual thought that these babies of mine will soon (So soon) be grown and gone.

so, one night, I watched as they chatted away before lights out.


Ally's mismatched bedding atop an old crib mattress my mom found. Thanks to whomever it belongs!




They laugh with each other and growl to scare the monsters away. You can hear them from the living room. They read and flip through books on their beds. Sometimes, they simply must build a fort, tossing all their blankets over a laundry basket.




One of our favorite books to read at bedtime is "Blankie," by Leslie ________. I'd go get the book, but I don't want to wake anybody up!! Finn's favorite page is, "Super Blankie!"




Ally does this thing with her upper lip when she says things like, "Scared, arm, hurt," and it simply makes me burst into laughter! It's really pronounced when she sings, "Twinkle, twinkle" right when she says, "star" in her best NJ accent!!




They just don't realize how much they take out of me. Like when I'm nursing the baby on the bathroom floor while Ally's going poopy on the potty and Finn walks in saying, "mommy! I can't find my little jet. can you find it, please." all I can do besides look at him with these pleading eyes like ~ can't you see what I'm doing right now (actually i say that many, many times in the day!), is say, "thank you Finn for asking so nicely. I will help you in a second."

Finn certainly feels like he's low on the totem pole, which just stinks. Because there is just no way, I can be there for him like he wants. It must be a part of the learning game for both of us.
Me: I'm not a doormat or slave. There will always be 30 things I could be doing for "the family." to be the perfect, mom, wife, friend..... Give me the wisdom to do ~ without the overdo!

Finn: Learning to meet his own needs sometimes. That is surprising hard for me to do. I love doing things for him, yet i know he's way better off learning it on his own. I just hope he doesn't feel completely abandoned, but that we are able to show him to his own feet.




Then, when Cam comes home late, we go back into their room together and pull up their covers, kiss their cheeks.....they rarely even wake up. and we just look at them.....

Goodnight!