the first day of 2010. and yet, I still feel as if the remnants of Christmas haven't passed yet. maybe that is b/c of the overwhelming nature of our family's Christmas celebrations this year. It wasn't even the traditional events that were overwhelming. It was the personal stresses that were affecting many of us. My husband being gone and out of contact for the first two weeks of his training. To get a late night call from him for 1 minute that sounded rough, tired, even a bit southern.... Was that huge winter storm (24hrs) actually going to dump any snow?? Would everyone's health be okay? (from 9 month old Eric, to 92-year-old grandpa great (as he's called!).
and yet, Christmas came all the same. although, I do still have a hard time in conversation when the whole family is together(mom, dad, his wife, the grandparents, my brother and family). I struggle to find many common bonds. Different marriages, different views on the Christmas holiday itself; religiously and culturally. Yet, this is family and maybe that's all I need to hear this time. It's enough just to be together. To have grandpa and grandma great just sit and take it all in, even if they can't hear every conversation. To let Tatyana mind the kids during the meal so I can simply enjoy a quick bite and chat with the adults.
To watch young uncle Andy sit with baby Eric and just play with him.
(Ahhhhhhh! Blury!!!!!!)
I watched my mom smile and laugh with the great grandparents, my dad's parents. This is still her family. She has enjoyed their company for so many years. And through all the awkwardness or any silent pauses........I sigh, and just rejoice that this "family," whatever it looks like, is enjoying another Christmas together.
Half of me enjoys this mix of company, religions, cultures, new marriages.
Half of me somehow desires a hallmark movie Christmas:
1. Loving parents caught snuggling under the mistletoe.
2. Having a 4 year old son like Tiny Tim that would be sooo utterly thankful to God Himself just to enjoy a taste of the Christmas meal.
3. Everyone piled into a candlelit service singing Christmas carols.
4. After that, Everyone piled in front of the TV watching the peanuts Christmas special.
5. And the surprise of all surprises (although, it is always so predictable in the movie)... The doorbell rings, and in walks Cam, in his uniform, home for Christmas!
6. Feeling love from everyone's smiles. Joy twinkling from their eyes!!
"God Bless Us Everyone!" Oh, Tiny Tim! I just want to reach into the story and take your family as my own!
But, this year, most of my family's eyes, including my own, were filled with worry, uncertainty, stress. Our minds were filled with things too discouraging to discuss on Christmas....and so the conversation remained bland, vague....and the presents kept coming and coming....God only knows who anything is from.
One gift even ended up in the garbage. We did realize it was unopened and missing. Tatyana made me do a dance when she finally found it in one of the bags! It was a watch and a beautiful cross necklace to me from DeDe. (LOVE IT! I wear the necklace every day!) How horrible to have that gift lost in the trash. What a crazy evening!
I'm so thankful for every thoughtful gift our family received this Christmas, but the whole holiday felt a little like Gosford Park, where the real story was always unsaid or lived out in the butler's pantry - in conversations aside......
Hmmmmmmmm....now that I've worded it that way, my Hallmark/Tiny Tim version doesn't sound nearly as interesting!
And well, my scrooge moment has past. I love my family and I'm so thankful they love me. The time we had together was indeed the greatest gift of all!!
Ally giving a hug to Great Grandpa, Lyle.
Another "Christmas gift exchange" happened via mail with Cam's family. We've spent 4 out of 5 Christmas holidays with them, but this year, his family is also in transition.
she loves the sweater and I love it more! (my size?? please!)
Finn loves his Lightening McQueen shoes sooo much, he refuses to wear them outside the house. I love that he likes them and I'm preparing myself for the day that they do get that one little, itty, bitty, speck of dirt. let's all take a moment and deep breathe. and don't worry, you'll experience this moment with me. JK ~ he really is a Tiny Tim at heart!
Eric does his very best to keep his toys, but often they are snatched away.
Yum! Yum!
My only religious celebrating came at a church social. All the other services I missed b/c the weather was very unpredictable. But, this ended up better for the kids.
They got to enjoy a puppet show version of the Christmas story and....
they saw a live nativity. Very exciting!
Ally followed the llamas around.
This was my favorite! Look at those ears!
Meet Mary and Joseph.
This Christmas, Nutcrackers seemed very festive to me...
Christmas morning was actually very quiet for us.....the kids got some pencils and paper in their little gift bags. I just loved where they parked themselves to create their masterpieces...right smack in the middle of the kitchen floor.
through mom's work, she discovered the organization Operation Military Kids, and b/c Cam is in the service now, they received this book and puppet. My mom gets teary whenever she reads the story to them.
(do you see the heart on Chester's hand!! It's a special kiss from his mommy that he can take with him wherever he goes!)
as far as favorite presents go........
the box is right up there.
Finn is an incredible help to me now. whenever he misses daddy, he also remembers that daddy asked him to help mommy and be the man of the house. He helps cook, unload the dishwasher and sometimes, I let him feed Eric. He is very good at this job.
He even makes the faces as he feeds. You try it! You will make these faces, too!
Finn also can cut up his own banana and spread PB on the little bites for himself and Ally.
ARe you hungry right now??
This is the first thing I created from a new cookbook..... can you guess which one??
not that my little munchkins could ever burn enough calories to eat most of her food, but when company's coming, you bet I'll be pulling from this woman's cattle ranch homecooking!!!
We also made another recipe from here yesterday: a muffin/monkey bread combo. The kids helped dip the muffins in butter and cinnamon/sugar. Amazing!
I hope everyone swings into the new year with much joy and celebration. Happy Birthday to you, Uncle Andy!
My own 31st birthday is 4 days away. The past year was full of new discoveries and feeling very up in the air. I've got some fun projects and goals I'd like to continue:
writing a book for Ally
research more about homeschooling
have more fun with my camera
oh, and eat more veggies!
and I just love how so much can change in a year! I never would have believed where this last year has taken me......us as a family....our extended family. through overall ups and downs, each day and moment has a sweetness all its own. I hope to continue living In these moments!
PS. I just noticed that this book is half the price on Amazon as it is at Border's or Target.
This book came w/ a puppet for us, but I don't know if it does on Amazon.
2 comments:
i love love love the pics of finn feeding eric. hilarious. and i had some similar thoughts this season, as we unwrapped gifts SEVEN times. well articulated! let's hang again soon...
What a transition year... we really missed you and the kids at christmas. Things didn't feel the same for so many reasons this year. But, as Dave said, maybe we need to make some new traditions as a family and just keep the old ones as good memories. Thanks again for being so great with pictures of the kids, we sit around together and enjoy them every time! Can't wait to see you all again whenever that time is! xoxo
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