Great artistry and care go into any expression of love. One thing I absolutely love about marriage is the fact that you are together {period}. So, you have to grow together, work things out, forgive, move on. I have this title for a reason, it is from 1 Corinthians 13, the love cliche of the B-i-b-l-e.
One thing I didn't realize upon getting married was the fact that sometimes, one of the pair is really carrying the whole. I know at times, one is up when the other is down. I'm not referring to that. I mean, sometimes, one is really pulling the whole show. For us, that has happened for both of us. Different stresses just take their toll. And as a spouse, you watch the other walk that difficult road. Or, simply, you find yourself overwhelmed with each others expectations! How can I possibly do all this?!!
I've witnessed a man drive across the country to save his marriage. I hear the fight of so many, where staying married is a daily discussion. What about dealing with grief or depression within a marriage. Or, one of the greatest heartbreaks of all; to finally have found someone to share her life with, only to stand next to his grave half way across the country as the marine pilots' flyover burns in her ears.
We've witnessed the brokenness of love that ceased. "I guess it was too late to fix it. There was no effort to repair what's been lost. We married too young. Regret. Anger. Loss. A family tree really ripped out from the roots, with children anchored only by single adults. Yes, maybe they are happier now. Maybe, new spouses have seasoned the family further in fruitful ways. I now have a pretty amazing new brother (Ya tebya lyublyu!) burning up NYC!
How many people are afraid to get married b/c they've seen so many begin the same way, only to end in shambles. How would I be able to avoid that pain and loss of a love that fails? And yet, people each experience love in unique ways..... The poor first marriage that ended and yet, the perfect "2nd" love story was waiting just around the corner. I love hearing these stories! That LOVE was indeed found, after years of pain and joylessness. So, I fall on both sides.
Lately, Love seems to never fail. As Cam and I trudge through this 6th year of marriage, the sweetness of our labors is overflowing. And, I'm really appreciating the work of our marriage in the most mundane things. Wading through kids, diapers, tantrums, budgets, LIFE just gets crazy doesn't it?
As far as Southern California goes, I'm NOT gonna win any beauty pageants here!
The inebriated sailors at one of numerous hail and farewells, may not be sticking their foot in their month saying, "Man! R--ke's wife is HOT!" as happens with others. But, just the way Cam looks at me(shut-up b/c I'll throw up-you-are-so-cheesy-Rachel!!), even on the "off" days of sweats and BO, I know I'm the most beautiful to him!
Smiles. I'm bringing them back full-force. Oh, how they can get lost in my day to day scramble. But, today, we shall smile.
He stands ready to take on the kiddos while I escape for me time. I Love this man!
He also organized my entire filing cabinet with medical, bills, taxes, statements....so I've had a little help on the getting organized front. Why read the book when I live with an organizing machine??
Out for a drive the other day....
Current prank of choice...To get the other's car seat warmer on without the other noticing until their biscuits are BURNING!!!
Sarah W, the bottom right picture is for you!!! The top right picture is ALL MINE!
Who doesn't love to see their lover smile?!!
Love is a tricky thing these days.....The road is full of hairpin turns and I have no idea what lies around the bend. But, whatever lies around the bend, however bleak it may appear, make time for a pillow fight! And, if you must argue (Kim Winter's words to follow), "Do so with both of you standing in the bathtub!"
But, I know that it is something beyond my plans! Last Sunday, at church, the group This Hope performed this song below and it just made me cry (Camlon, too). I know some of you will not listen to this song because:
1. It is cheesy Christian music
2. It talks about self-denial, that God somehow knows better than me how to live my own life.
Of course, I'd still like you to listen to the song! It is actually a true story, written about a Romanian Hymn Writer, Nicolae Moldoveanu, who was imprisoned for his faith. I have started listening to this song every morning this week, because it is the reason I'm still a Christian today, the reason I still have faith. I ask God to Break My Plans and give me the wherewithal to Love Cam more selflessly than I ever thought possible! This is scary to do as it can directly oppose my initial feelings many, many times! But, it always proves a blessing. How can I possibly explain that to anyone!? Obviously, I don't do it very well, because no one, to my knowledge, has ever become a Christian because of a conversation we've had!
If you are reading this today, think of 5 things you are thankful for in your lover, spouse, best friend.......Then, think of 5 ways to love them better today, even to your own hurt.
My mom just sent me a great article as well which gave the reader a challenge. Ask all those people that you hold most dear in your life, "How can I love you better?" You may be surprised by the response.
"How can I love you better, Ally?" I asked after I read the story, tears already in my eyes b/c I knew her very next words would be.....
"Be nice to me, Mommy." and "More snuggle-time"
Another important thing to me besides "breaking my plans," and loving as Someone else would have me love, is community. Our Potluck Dinner was fantastic last night.
Each family represented brought something unique to the table(besides food!). We all have different strengths and life experiences. I'm looking forward to the strengthening relationships of this group. Together, in so many ways, we will be holding each other up. More pictures to come soon!
2 comments:
Very powerful writing Rachel. Gives me an idea for something to write for my kids to understand how we raised them. We are Christian. We don't got to church regularly...mainly because we haven't found a church that we feel suits our family. But we do believe and I think that is the most important part.
And you are so right about loving someone better. That is exactly what I am going to try to do from here on out. Because you can always love better and stronger!
So happy your pot luck went well!
Thanks for sharing, once again you have made all of us think about our lives, our loves, our failures, our successes, and what we can do to help others have a better day..... that is how you've changed many people to become Christians. Maybe not be one conversation but by your love, actions, and everyday life. I'm proud to call you a daughter in our family.
Miss you
MomMom
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